10 reasons why men may not want sex

Men always want intercouse. Right? Wrong. I have often heard the sexual partner of a man say, “My mate doesn’t want to have intercouse. What’s wrong with him? Don’t all men want intercouse?” That’s a common misunderstanding and it’s based on the mistaken belief that men are wired to want intercouse most times they can get it.

According to Web MD, here’s a list of reasons why men may not want intercouse:

1. Medications: Antidepressants (SSRI-type) and antihypertensives (blood pressure medication) are often the culprit when a man has a lowered interest in sexual activity. These can also cause sexual dysfunction.

2. Lack of sleep: When a man is in his teens or twenties, the opportunity to have intercouse will often overwhelm the desire to sleep. This is often true also when a relationship is brand new. But, as people and relationships age, intercouse can lose its compelling nature and a good night’s rest can be quite tempting.

3. Hormonal levels: The most important physiological stimulant of sexual desire is testosterone. Many men are mistakenly sent to have a blood test for total testosterone when low love making drive is the issue. While that information might be interesting to know to have a full picture of a man’s hormonal levels, knowing the free testosterone level is much more relevant to how much intercouse he desires. Also, too much prolactin and SHBG (sex hormone binding globulin) can suppress sexual desire. So when a hormonal reason is suspected, these are the blood tests to have (in order of importance): free testosterone, prolactin, SHBG, and total testosterone.

4. Identity issues: When men feel uncertain about their role in the world, their desire for intercouse can dwindle. Depression may be linked to this, but isn’t always. Identity issues can crop up when: he has issues at work or is out of work, faces the death of an important family member, becomes disheartened about a formerly held strong belief, and questions his understanding of his own sexual orientation, to name a few.

5. Turn-off to aspects of the intercouse: Some men will turn away from intercouse rather than have intercouse that is not fulfilling to them. Lack of fulfillment can be related to specific things that his partner does during intercouse or how he experiences his partner’s body. He may feel criticized or treated unfairly. It may just seem like too much “work.” He may have sexual interests that he knows or fears his partner may not share.

6. Disagreements with one’s mate: When there are interpersonal difficulties between the members of a couple, many men will avoid intercouse or just plain refuse their partner’s advances. Some men punish their partner by withholding intercouse, but for others it’s not a matter of punishment, they just cannot muster sexual feelings when there are unresolved conflicts.

7. Stress: Stress comes in many forms and may stem from financial difficulties, personal or family member illness, challenges at work, parenting dilemmas, and issues involving extended family members. Of course, there are many more sources of stress.

8. Masturbation that replaces partnered intercouse. This is a hot topic since the advent of the Internet.

9. Fear of intimacy: Some men have relationships with their romantic partner that resemble that of siblings. The contact that they experience in their relationship takes the intimacy level up so high that adding sexual intimacy on top of that feels like an overload. Though it may be difficult to imagine that a person could have too much intimacy, it is the hunch of many intercouse experts today that this is a very common cause of declining sexual frequency in couples.

10. Difficulties functioning sexually: Many men who have an erection dysfunction or believe that they reach climax too early or too late (if at all), will avoid having intercourse with their partner. Rather than face what feels like another experience of “failure” in our performance-obssessed culture, these men choose to avoid being sexual at all.

When partnered with a man who does not want intercouse, the optimal path does not include criticism, belittling, or slurs on his manhood. Armed with accurate information and professional help, most of these causes of sexual avoidance can be greatly improved and in many cases removed altogether.

Written by Grandbros


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